hot take but idc abt politics as much as i used to. i dont rlly have a label for which "side" im on (but i guess you could say im a moderate with a left lean?). a lot of the info abt me here is outdated. i laugh at everyone equally bc i think it's stupid that we cant settle things with a game of rock paper scissors and agree to disagree and be polite to one another. it's rlly not that hard to understand that we're all human and we all deserve to be treated equally and everyone should have rights regardless of how u identify. no one is better than one another bc of some social or wealth status. at the end of the day we're on a spinning rock in the middle of nowhere. i dont think things have to be so deep anymore lol
a month ago in a group chat with some of my friends i said "im convinced its the mental illness and very weird metaphorical speech that attracts ppl to me" and i think it was fitting to share this with the world
thank god its the end of the year! im so ready to start fresh, to be a better person. 2025 is the year im really going to start finding myself and forming me into who I personally want to be and not be the person that the people around me want to be. this year has been shit for the most part, and finally i dont feel dread leaving another year behind. i'll figure out what i want to do with myself, with this site, with everything and anything. it is time for me to finally grow a back bone and take the world by its nuts and say that im here and im not going anywhere. this year im going to be LOUD about who i am. i dont give a fuck, we only live once.
i feel powerful knowing i can be whatever i want to be
im always so painfully devoted to the people that i love especially when it comes to romance. i think i might have an issue with being obsessed but im not sure.
finally, the big 25! i can rest peacefully knowing that all the past energy from 2024 is left in that year. im ready to see myself bloom.
hands down one of my favorite shoegaze experiences ever is the song "i want to be with you" by sadness, especially when played on good quality headphones at 100% volume. it's so fucking raw and real and beautiful. ugh holy shit
99% journal wipe to start the new year off strong
i forget how bad it is to listen to music super loud but its never loud enough for me!!
i hate back pain at 19
the red and black theme is getting old i think i might actually redesign my site this year for real
new year, new me, new site. give me some time but i swear im actually going to go through with the redesign. it's going to be completely different, and i wont spoil what my plans or visions are, but say goodbye to the red and black themes. im over it and going to go for something softer and whimsical. im not going to announce anything, but when you see my front page start to change, you'll know. this site is approaching 5 years old in august and genuinely i cannot believe ive stuck with it for this long. ive grown up a bit and i think its time that this site goes through its own transformation too. ❤
i think ravioli is one of the best things to exist idc what yall say i LOVE CARBS
i'll never amount to anything
i dont get why ive been made fun of for having a more formal way of talking or having a slightly extended vocab, idc that i sound like a book im just.. myself?
I HATE BEING SLEEPY LET ME WAKE UP AUGH
midnight ravioli is soooo good. also happy 1 year to me n my fiancee (we cant decide if its the 7th or 8th but i still say the 8th.. technically.. LOL)
tonight i am feeling so emotionally high that i am not sure if i am going through an episode or if this is what normal is for ppl without depression
mood swings r only fun when i feel like im on top of the world and nothing and no one can stop me. unfortunately i am trying to have a semi normal sleep schedule so i need to go to bed and not impulsively create art. man
lowkey its kind of dumb at this point in time for me to have a public journal and do nothing else with my site. idk if i just want to redesign everything or if i want to like delete everything... ughhhhhhhhhhh
my first site was so cringe im shocked i havent taken it down yet
idk if i resonate with the "emptygod" label as much as i used to.. it was a big part of me when i was younger but i feel like it doesnt click with me. maybe im going through a phase of disconnect or maybe im growing up. who knows
im gonna be away for a bit visitng my fiancee YIPPIEEE so if i dont update for a bit thats why ❤ teehee i'll be back later at some point! not sure when
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