my dream journal..

this is where my dreams will go

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it was my 21st birthday. not a lot about me had changed mentally or physically. i was surprised to have lived this long.

(different dream) ... i was fooling around with an online friend of mine, we were laughing and running around my house. he was recording me for some reason, and i ran downstairs into my bathroom and locked the door. i peaked through the very slim opening where the door meets the wall, and he was still there. i said something about still being able to see him, i still see him recording, etc (i dont remember exactly what i said).

(different dream) ... i had been nominated on neocities by some website (cant remember who/what) for my unique design and meaning behind my site.

(dream i had today during a nap i just woke up from): ... i was looking at my most recent ex's youtube channel they had in this dream, some sort of wattpad blog they had and their discord. i was so angry with everything. i needed to vent it out through animation. there was a song i wanted to use (that doesnt exist) but i do not remember what it was. i was done with everything that had happened and changed my status on discord to "I HATE EVERYTHING" but had difficulties changing it because i kept misspelling it for some reason. i had suspected they had been with someone else, maybe 2 others, but i wasnt sure. sunlight (?) was hitting my laptop screen and it was difficult to read their wattpad texts but i remember something about how they had been with a guy for the past year (suspecting it was me), something about someone (not me) using honey on their cuts, which my ex knew was dangerous because it gave them HIV or some sort of dangerous disease?? and i wanted to tell them how much pain i was in, and how i wanted them back. however i never got to doing this.


me and my grandmother were sitting in my living room, sometime around the evening or night i think. i dont remember how we contacted her, but we were talking to sol pais. my grandma asked why i was talking so robotically (which i wasnt?), i replied with something like "it's because spirits have a hard time understanding words sometimes". i dont remember seeing her spirit, although i do remember hearing her voice. i dont remember exactly what was being said between the 3 of us, but i remember she was being sweet and open to talking a little bit.


it was 10 at night, and i was downstairs looking around in my video production teacher's classroom for a computer fan. I didn't want him to catch me, but he eventually did come in. he wasn't mad and was happy to help. he also started talking about this strange, yellowed and rusty appearing "remote" (dont know how to describe it) looking device. I told him it was too rusty and maybe he shouldn't touch it, but he seemed fine cleaning it off with his hands. apparently this was for some little highly realistic wolf robot?? it did seem awfully real. he gave it to me.

(different dream) i dont remember much from this dream other than it was very cloudy. it was raining, and i was running towards my bus at the end of the school day trying to make sure i dont miss it.


i was shopping with my grandma and bought candy bars because i had a craving for them in my dream lol

(different dream) i also remember something about a cat and its mouth being wide open with mice walking inside of the cats mouth carelessly


I started texting a classmate of mine, and we also started talking in person too and becoming friends.

(different dream) I was playing minecraft with a couple of old friends.. not much to say about this.

(different dream) I was in a band with 3 or 4 other guys. we were gonna play a show at this large and fancy beach. im not sure who had this idea, but someone had the idea to make a song shitting on my bio dad and my step mother for being homophobic/transphobic assholes towards me and also saying fuck you to my dad for not being in my life. i thought this would be extremely funny and amazing, and then i realized they could sue me. the other guys took this into consideration but wanted to play this anyways. i dont remember what happens in this time span but i remember singing all apologies by nirvana first. im not sure if this is where we sung my "fuck you" song to my dad and step mom, but i wanna say this is where it happens. the crowd was going insane and i couldnt stop laughing. we started playing after dark by mr kitty but then said sike and i started screaming the lyrics to XIII instead.


i was in school, but it was like a mix between my high school and some parts of my elementary school when it came to the stairs for some reason. the halls were a lot bigger and wider, and didn't look like a school at all. i was listening to drown by mr kitty (although it sounded like more of a witch house style song for some reason) as i was surrounded by all the students going to their classes.


this is gonna be so disappointing but i cant remember any of the dreams i had last night despite having so many, so if i recall any further details about them i will try to write them down :)


i dont remember much from last night either. :/ i do remember something having to do with school but dont remember too many details

nvm i do remember something about trying sushi in one of our house offices for some reason lmao

(dream i had and woke up from just now): i remember texting my most recent ex about our past relationship and how i felt. i was pretty upset. something had hacked into my insta account and was sending dumb bullshit in the middle of it. i was in a group with a small amount of people that would be doxxing someone in contact with my ex, supposedly their new partner. i didnt want to make things worse and be associated with them, but i was scared that they would dox me too if i left.


it was dark out, and i was a bit physically sick. i think it was some sort of cold. i decided to take some medicine, but all it did was make me hallucinate a little bit. i decided to tell my grandpa about it and he got scared/mad (?) at me. he told me something like "i'm convinced you are actually insane". he wanted to hurt me. he locked all the doors in the house and i didn't have anywhere to run or hide. i remember scrambling to each door trying to get away but they were locked. i was cornered by him but im not sure what happened during that time. i do remember him putting some sort of red metal hook on one of the ends of the small part of the doorknob where the locking part actually happens. he thought that i thought i could lock it but it fooled me. all of the doors were now unable to lock.


i was playing on a minecraft server, and some person had accidentally died in game and lost their valuable modded items and stuff they had. i collected most of their things and was going out of my way to contact them outside of minecraft to return them to the person.


i was deleting and getting rid of pictures/videos i saved off of google that disturbed me or otherwise didnt need. i accidentally ended up deleting google servers in the process of doing this, causing the entire world to return to using BBS servers. i didnt want anyone to know, but i felt brave enough to immediately call my mother figure about it on discord. she wasnt picking up.

a long distance friend of mine had sent me a frozen dog corpse. i dont remember why or how or the story behind the dog. it was quite small, tan in color, and was resting in a silver tinfoil/plastic container, like something you'd put food on. i hid it in my fridge somehow, and without my grandparents knowing or security cameras catching me, i quickly disposed of it later in a very large garbage container outside. not sure what happened next but i do remember being questioned by the police and telling them how i didnt want to be seen as the one who did this to the dog, because i wasnt. i said i didnt want to be falsely accused. i called my grandparents later that night when i was still with the police trying to figure things out and i told them the same thing.


i was yelling at my grandparents because of their ignorance and misunderstanding towards my mental health. i told them if that they dont believe im diagnosed with anything, they can talk to my therapist and see for themselves.

i was in china for some reason, and i was going to meet this young man. he didn't speak english and i didnt speak chinese. i decided to bring google translate up so we could communicate.


no dreams from last night :(


i had some dreams last night but the details are kinda vague. however, i do somewhat remember something about finding ashley's youtube page and it was just videos of her hobbies and things she liked. and then i remember another dream about an old friend being mad at me for something i liked. don't know how to explain either one of these lol


i was able to go back into someone elses memories, and discovered that one of my middle school teachers was in a very large coven with other witches. something between her and another witch happened, and i noticed my old teacher drinking some sort of tea/potion with multiple kinds of flowers and herbs. she was saying something (although i cant recall what). then i decided to visit a teacher (who i currently have) in some sort of kitchen. she was reciting the same thing my old teacher was. I asked her to repeat it, and it was exactly the same. im not sure what happens in this time span, but i do remember seeing my middle school teacher laying on the ground outside with a few others. they all looked like they were unconscious. this was upsetting to me because i thought a teacher i loved had passed or was seriously hurt. they all seemed to be okay in the end, since they woke up and seemed alright.


the remnants of the memories of the dreams i had last night exist but it would be super hard trying to explain im sorry lmao


i was dying my hair blue and purple on my own and having a good time lol

i committed some crime and then obviously sent to jail. everyone hated me, lost everything, and missed being online.


i was standing at the check out of some store, it was kind of like gamestop and hottopic mixed together. i was just chilling and some lady who was probably in her late 20s looked at me and said "wow, i havent seen anyone dressed like you in at least 8 years!" (because i was dressed like a stereotypical emo kid from 2008 in the dream). i took it as a compliment. then some sort of kesha song started playing for some reason.

(different dream i just remembered): it was dark out and i had gotten on the bus for school, but i didnt change out of my pajama pants because i forgot midway through the ride. not sure what happens in this time span but i remember meeting a very nice individual who was reading. they had a small black (or dark brown?) skull shaped crystal with brown/black beads coming out from the top. i was curious as to what this was and i gently tried to grab it to look at it closely, but they told me not to touch it due to me having new energy coming in contact. they also had what i assume to be clear quartz with them as well as these beautiful glass cups that had the most stunning amethysts on them i had ever seen.


i was sleeping very peacefully next to my ex. we were still together. i happen to get up first and go upstairs. apparently my grandma had found this website but hadnt explored much. i found her with my laptop on the coffee table we have in the livingroom in the editing mode looking at my code. i was confused as to how this happened. apparently i made a post on facebook about neocities and it lead her here somehow? im not sure. my ex came up a little after this happened. i was gonna eat some eggs, but of course needed a fork so i asked my ex to get me one (because i just couldnt get one on my own lmao?). they had telekinesis and levitated a fork to me, which was kinda neat. not sure what else happens after.

i have vague memories of a dream where i was at my old elementary school's playground, but i cant tell you much about it.


my mother figure and a few parts of my related family had set up this big surprise thing for my birthday/christmas. apparently they spent a lot of time on it. im not sure if this is a part of the same dream or a different one, but i also remember taking a picture with my mother figure and my grandpa.

(different dream) a pale fleshy looking thing came out of my body and i almost didnt tell my grandma about it, but i ended up doing so cause i had no idea what it was. i asked if we should go to the hospital and she agreed to it because she was also concerned. on our way up our long driveway, there was a weird amount of people randomly lined up. they all looked kinda cartoony. i think they wanted to talk to me/visit. there was a woman in a different car who saw me and my grandma and didnt know that the situation was concerning, and thought that one of us was gonna give birth. she looked happy passing us. i was annoyed by it. (i dont know what happened after this).


i took in one of my ex's cats, and he wasn't happy to be here. i was doing my best to make him comfortable though. but he was very upset.

(different dream) i was working in walmart, it was dark and i was just doing my thing where ever. some guy wanted to know where the "angry bird's 4" DVD set was. i look around for this DVD for him for a little bit, but couldnt find it. i ended up giving him the "5" version of it, which was similar. then my grandfather picked me up and i told him what happened throughout my day.

(different dream) i was with a classmate (who was my friend in the dream) and we were messing around with legos (or something resembling it i think). i was gonna recreate the art angels album cover that grimes did, however we got too distracted building other things. i was also going to draw something grimes related but i dont know if i ever did. then i came across a video of grimes painfully coloring her hair a lime green. i say "painfully" because it was like in this world the dream existed in, you had to slowly put a tattoo needle to your scalp and go all the way across it for the color to show for some reason like you were getting one big linear tattoo on your scalp.


some kid from my school was playing with fireworks around the place i live and i dont know why.


an old friend of mine had started making music, i think it was like rap or hip hop inspired.


i remember a friend that doesnt talk to me much started wanting to do something with me, although im not sure what it was.


for some reason i was dating one of my classmates in school?? (it's always this one person that comes into my dreams with romantic context.. i dont know why)


i was playing doomspire brickbattle on roblox and somehow i was playing unfairly so my old video production teacher for some reason and some other people were talking to me about what i was doing wrong.


i was playing on a minecraft server and i built a very nice looking mini house inside of this tall stone structure that generated (idk if i should call it a mountain, not sure what to call it actually lol).


had a dream with the same person i mentioned on the 5th. we were both sitting down next to each other and they were holding a glass / acrylic type of thing that had a little chibi anime character at the top and it was some sort of cute note someone wrote about them. we were also texting back and forth on discord.

(different dream) i was recording some sort of school video with a lot of classmates from my school and i asked if the same person mentioned above wanted to be a part of it. they didnt want to be, and i was fine with that. they kinda walked to the side of where i was filming outside and idk if they said something to make me say this but i kinda whispered under my breath "ive been thinking about you too". they heard me and turned around but i dont remember if they said anything.

(different dream) i was with a different friend from school. i cant pinpoint exactly what we were doing together/what the context was, but i had a feeling we might've been dating or figuring out each other's feelings for one another. we were hanging out together and having a good time.

(different dream) an animator that i liked took down their videos but reuploaded them in one big 17 minute compilation video with alterations to the audio.


i was texting my recent ex about something on instagram. i dont really remember much of what we said to each other but i do know that they said that they might be having a friend move in. this "friend" also might've been their partner, or someone they're figuring out their feelings for. something like that. either way i wasnt happy with that. i told them that i didnt like that idea and they didnt say much back to me besides "yeah" (or something similar).

(different dream) i was in my room with my music teacher. i was gonna perform something for him for a grade. i was sitting on my bed and he was to the side sitting on a chair, but then for some reason i decided to try to sit on the floor. the guitar i had was plugged into an amp and was giving me major feedback (if that's what you call it) issues. it was kinda loud and annoying. although i think i fixed it and my teacher said it sounded good when i tried before, and that my singing was a bit off key but it was good.


I had this thick book. it was pretty big, and obviously had a lot of useful things in it (i think relating to psychology or science). unfortunately it had been kind of destroyed due to students being immature and had a lot of sky blue paint stuck on it and on the pages.

(i know i had more dreams but im having trouble remembering)


i was walking around a huge shopping place with my grandfather and i wanted to go to joanns or michaels. he didn't let me.

(different dream) i was outside and i dont know how, but i came across these really beautiful crystal witches wands. i wanted to take the majority of them, although decided against it so my grandparents wouldnt know if i took too many.


apparently i had crashed one of my long distance friend's cars with their friend inside. it was in the middle of a winter day. they ended up being okay but i felt really bad.

(different dream) i was walking around a big art store with my grandma and looking for all sorts of stuff. i saw this pretty sparkly acrylic paint that i wanted to get but i dont think i ended up getting it. i was also looking for acrylic paint sealer and other things for some sort of cosplay i think? also i dont know if this is a part of this dream but i also remember exiting the store and going back into our car. it was dark out and we were listening to mr.kitty together. the song we were listening to was called bullet, but it was like a mix between that and two other songs called home and sanctum of ash. it was very pretty.

(different dream) another minecraft dream happened. nothing exciting happened. i was just on a server with a lot of people who built all sorts of cool pixel art stuff and interesting buildings. there was this mod in place for moderators (i think?) that could let you type messages and keep those messages written in your inventory so you could put messages in chests or something. while i discovered that message thing, i had also been on the search for a minecraft wings mod... because yes, i guess.


i was in minecraft (again) but this time with my mother figure. i dont remember what we were typing to each other but i was venting something to her i think.

(different dream) i believe it was 2009-ish. i had my backpack with me in a corner of a living room getting something out of a cabinet, collecting things that i needed. i was preparing to run away when i asked one of my younger brothers if he had noticed that i had wings or some sort of shape of them. he said no and then i started laughing. i was backing out of my runaway plan.

(different dream) i was with ashley for some reason and she had made these cool dragon glove looking things. one of the gloves had a built in security system that if you pushed a button it would call someone. i tried it out for myself, but it accidentally called the police and the person on the other end of the call was asking me what had happened. i dont remember much after.


i did have some sort of dream but i cant remember enough to tell you about it :( i'll update later if this changes


i was standing in the school's cafeteria, talking to a teacher in the study hall. ashley comes up to me and tells me something, i dont exactly remember what but she told me something about how sorry she is for kicking me out of her life. she seemed really upset about it. i kinda look back at the teacher and look back at her and take her to the side a bit. i took ashley and i hugged her. im not sure if we said anything during that moment.


i dont remember a ton of details from last night's dream but for some reason there was a terrible sand tsunami at my old elementary school. i had these powers to block it like a shield, and i tried to protect everyone that was there. i ended up being swallowed by the sand. 2-3 clones of myself had formed to replace the original me. one of them asked some sort of magical item that was in my family to go back in time a few hours to redo this moment. my clones were gone and it was around 7:43 PM in the evening. i was back in my living room like nothing ever happened.


i did dream but i cant really recall much details from the dreams. however, i do remember a dream where i had a very odd stain on my laptop. it was a stain from a bit of egg i was probably eating and i was having a hard time getting it off. i decided to get q-tips and dip them gently in water, then switch to soapy water, then switch to clear water again after. i made sure to be careful with this process.


my mother figure was getting re-married in dubai. she invited me to come. this would be the first time i had the chance to meet her in person.

(different dream) i have vague memories from a dream where i was doing some 3D animation thing, but i dont remember it clearly enough.


my ex had sent me long messages explaining how they feel towards what ive been doing/feeling, but i dont remember what they said.

(different dream) i was in a different state for a few days (dont remember where i was) with my grandma. i had come across these 2 younger girls (one was about 10 or 11, and the other was about 7) that loved winged wolves and everything to do with growing wings. even though i didnt believe in it, i still wanted to talk to them about it and hang out with them. the older sister's room was quite empty, besides a sketch of a wing that was on the wall. i suggested that we could put up drawings of winged wolves to decorate it, and she liked that idea. unfortunately i couldnt be there for long because the next day i would be packing up to go back to my state. i told them this, and they were sad, but i told them we could stay in touch.

(different dream) i brought in a cat from outside that looked exactly like one of my cats. my grandparents didnt like this, because we didnt know if this other cat had some sort of disease or was sick in some way. i sort of felt the same way, however i didnt want to release the cat back outside.


i dont remember much from last night besides a dream about fixing really old computers and some other things that i dont know how to explain lol


dont remember much from last night, sorry


i had to make up some work in school, but for some reason couldnt find a good place. i ended up in a 9th grade art class to quietly do what i was supposed to.


there was this guy that had gone up on our deck. he was some sort of semi-famous photographer or youtuber, something like that. he wanted to do some sort of business with us. me and my grandma seemed fine with it but my grandpa was mad, got rude with him and told him to leave.


i was on april break and apparently i had done nothing, as usual. my grandparents were angry about it and were trying to make me go out to do more things even though i was very tired and needed this break.


i didnt get a lot of sleep last night so i cant remember my dreams from then, sorry


i had been running through this abandoned place. it's hard to explain what it is exactly, but structurally on the inside it was kind of like a dark grey maze mixed with school-like hallways. it felt very much like it had been built by the government (i think it was). i was running from this group of government people in green suits, i think there were four of them. my grandma was also there too. i finally came to a room, and locked myself in before they could get to me. they wanted to get me because i had powers. my grandma had found a journal i was writiing in, and i was talking about my experiences having these abilities. i wasnt sure what they were going to do, but i knew they were going to take me away and do tests on me, and i wasnt going to allow that to happen.


there was this HUGE party at night at my old elementary school, it was outside and it was packed. i think it was mainly kids from my school. i dont remember a lot of music going on, just a lot of talking and fooling around. i could fly (dont remember if i had wings or not though) and was flying over the soccer field where i spotted one of my irl best friends and my ex best friend talking to each other from above. i think my ex best friend might've spotted me, and then i quickly flew away and walked into a crowd of people. not sure what happened after that.


it was late in the morning, almost noon, and i was getting ready to see a friend (dont remember it was ashley or the ex i keep mentioning, or someone else). my grandma was gonna drop me off. she was irritated because i was packing a quick lunch last minute, even though we both knew i would probably be having lunch over there. but i wanted to make sure i had something to eat for later anyway. we were gonna be a few minutes late.


i remember being with my ex ive been talking about, although i dont remember much from it. i remember them laughing and sitting next to me i think but nothing more than that. however, even though this isnt exactly a part of the dream, i do remember waking up suddenly from this dream around 1 AM. I think I was crying in the dream and i thought i was crying in real life too. but i wasnt.

i dont know where to begin describing this dream. im going to try to describe the different parts i remember. i think these might've been separate dreams, however im going to count them as one big one. this is definitely not going to be in order, but i will try. anyways, i was in this old wooden house with my ex and their family members as well as my grandma and maybe someone else. i dont remember why we were there. my ex was sitting on a chair in an area that was something you'd see at a bar. i remember being angry at my ex and i was yelling at them. they immediately shut down and started crying. right after that, i felt awful and tried to apologize. i gave them some time, and i went into a different room with a piano. for some reason, an irl friend of mine had their parents in there. a part of the piano was on fire (fire was a big symbol in this dream, dont know why). i let their dad know and he said he knew, and made sure the fire stopped. this is where i composed my first song, which was of course about my ex. it was later remixed and all that. then i was back at my house. it was about night. sometime earlier on, i discovered i could levitate things and fly. i noticed in the distance in the trees that there was this bright orange fire looking type of light. i thought that an actual part of the woods or a different area in that zone was on fire somewhere. i think i took a journal, a phone and a pencil with me and flew upwards to see what it was. i thought it might've been the lights of ski sundown (because actually irl i can see the lights in the distance from ski sundown due to how close i live to it). it was actually not either fire nor the lights, but it was a bunch of traffic. im not sure what happened after.


im having a hard time recalling the dream(s) from last night :(


me and an irl friend were driving around, im not exactly sure why or where. i asked her if she could legally do this and she said nope.

(different dream) one of my ex's cats was at my house for some reason. usually, irl, he runs away from me and in the dream this also applied (at least in the past). however, when i called his name he ran up to me and curled up with me on the couch. im not sure what happened next in this time frame, but i do remember a part where he violently climbed up my grandpa's legs for some reason lmao.


im not sure what happened to remembering my dreams but ok


an aunt/cousin(?) of mine told my grandma that i was still self harming in this dream and i literally have no clue what happened after that

(different dream) im not sure if this person was a family member or an old friend, but either way i kept finding notes and little doodles in a physical journal of mine that they made.


i would try to explain the dreams i had last night but they were so bizarre that i dont think i could explain them lmao


it was probably the morning or afternoon, and i was supposed to be doing online work. in this dream, we were still doing long distance learning. but i was distracted by some sort of craft i was doing.


i think i accidentally brought in some sort of oversized glowstick with one of the ends of it being crystallized somehow into school. i was walking back and forth with it trying to decide what i should do, and then a teacher saw me. she thought it was some sort of heavy illegal drug, and called someone (but i do not remember who).


i was at a cousin's house for a party. it was in their old house. i knew a few people, just a few of my friends were there. most of the people there were people i didnt recognize. an irl friend of mine (still havent thought of a name to use instead of their real one) was sitting in a chair in a corner with a laptop covered in stickers of drawings they made themselves. they were sick and didnt feel good, so i let them be. i dont remember much else besides the end of the dream, where fireworks were exploding outside into the sky. my friend wanted to take me outside to take pictures with me and them in that moment, but they couldnt. their dad had to pick them up early.


i dont exactly remember much, but i remember finding a wooden chest that was decorated with gold and other gems somewhere in my house. i opened it, and it was pretty empty, except for like 3 small books on witchcraft. i brought the chest to my room and was thinking of places to put these items.


i had a dream but would rather not share this specific one.


i had a mix of really weird dreams, im gonna try to see if i can write about one later.


hey y'all, dream posts aren't going to be daily anymore, and are going to become lest frequent. I don't find enjoyment in updating only to say that there's nothing to be talked about, and some dreams are too personal to talk about. I will still post but not as much. thanks :)


i had feathered wings, but i dont remember what they looked like. i was flying around outside at night and taking pictures of the moon for my mother figure. everything was so detailed, so clear and so beautiful.


i had wings again in this dream, they resembled a hawks wings, but were more brown. there were other people around but i dont remember who they were. i was standing next to a railing, and the railing was obviously there to protect people into falling over this beautiful long crater like hole with a waterfall. it looked like this place had been here for a very long time. i decided to step over the railing, and i fell, but it was a slow fall. i was twisting and turning as i flew around. it was peaceful.


my grandma signed me up for some sort of puppet show where people made all sorts of interesting hand puppets and stuff. i had this rare and original puppet that was also a costume, he resembled a skeksis from the dark crystal movie. later on at this place i was at, the people who had the puppets gathered around in a circle to show off and explain what their character was. i got in for half of it, but i missed out on explaining what my character was because i was eventually pulled out to be told that my puppet wasnt a true hand puppet.


my grandparents were planning to send me out to my mother figure for quite some time. they said it was because i needed to get out, experience new things, etc. they also wanted some time apart from me for some reason. i was nervous, but also excited, and agreed to the idea. i would be with her for a few weeks to a few months. apparently the plan was set for me to be there for 100 weeks, which i guess in my dream wasn't considered to be almost 2 years of being there.


i dont remember much from what happened, but i remember i was being hunted down constantly by this somewhat humanoid creature. it was extremely large, as it reached the tops of the trees. it also had large bulky hands, they were very square. i dont remember a face, it seemed to be always covered in some sort of fog which didnt allow me to see what it looked like completely.

(different dream) i forgot his name, but this guy turned his house into one of those interactive art places with the strange lights, hallways, etc. im unsure of what they are called. his house didnt seem very big on the outside, but whatever he did with the inside, made it seem like it was endless. it was mostly darkened, i think black or a very deep shade of blue that appeared to be black. for some reason he had a box of rare pokemon cards, and he was giving them out for free. the funniest part is that he called this place "gay palace". (i think ive had this dream before, or something similar to it a very long time ago btw)


(it's currently 5/26/22, but would like to keep the timing consistent of when this dream took place). with that out of the way, I had woken up from a dream where a huge storm had ripped through my town. there was a lot of wind, rain, and most importantly a tornado. my apartment is mostly flooded, and has been ripped out of the ground. it doesn't exactly float anywhere thankfully (due to the amount of water that was produced, it could've). my pets drowned however and so did my grandmother, or at least I believe she did because I didn't see her in my dream. it was only me and my grandfather. me and my grandpa were fighting about how I wanted to stay in my state, even wanting to stay in the same apartment, but my grandpa wanted to move out and find someplace new to live because it was basically impossible to live in the same place. my highschool was about to be closed down too, the same thing happened to it where it got flooded and messed up. I was walking down a long hallway, where kids were huddled up in their own groups crying or making music to pass the time and to enjoy being inside of the school while it lasted, or to mourn what had happened to the school and everything surrounding it. a lot of kids in my dream suffered the same thing I had. I was making my way through these groups of kids, running past them, because I had to take a picture for my mother figure. it was going to be a picture of this boulder/rock that sits near my apartment that had provided me years of childhood memories. I had been trying to document everything that had happened to me to my mother figure. she mentioned to me that I always had a home over there with her if I needed to move out and find safer living conditions, but she either gave birth or adopted 2 other kids. I didn't want her to take care of me plus these other kids, I felt it may have been too much.


my grandma threatened me to send me off to this strange camp if i didn't get my grades up in my senior year of high school. I was sent off anyways. a lot of my friends and kids I recognized from school were there. the name of this camp was called something like "Suban" (I'm not sure if it was pronounced like "sue-baine" or "sue-ban"). it disguised itself as a very special arts camp that would train kids in developing skills related to anything art related. it was run by this suspicious guy, I forgot his name but I do remember he was probably in his mid or late 50s and was blonde. the activities that were done were odd and confusing. most of the time I wasn't sure what I was doing while everyone else had a good grasp of it. there was this large, dark gym with lights above us where we would perform nonsense to this guy running the place. someone would randomly pop up and chant something in made up words, we would whisper to the people around us about the chanting and how we felt about it, etc. one time there was a live bull running around the gym with real students on top. as I spent more time there, I felt like I was being replaced by somebody I didn't know. I liked how this environment made me feel and the kind of person that it was turning me into, but at the same time I felt like my genuine self was fading away. suban was a cult, a very twisted cult, and the kids around me were slowly being brainwashed like I almost had been, too. during one of these activities, I hit the guy running suban in the neck once with some sort of yellow rubber stick. he took it as an accident but then I hit him once more to distract him, and then that's when he got pissed. I told everyone to go home and get out. we all ran together.


i walked into this store not expecting anything. it was a mix of some sort of dollar store with a mini restaraunt inside. whatever going on here had some good business though. anyways, I had some money and decided to spend it on the claw machine, since it was the first thing that caught my attention. i did win a few things (but i have no clue on what they were). i guess this place still had a mask policy. i forgot to bring one, so i asked one of the employees up at the front check out if they had some. they gave me a weird answer something similar to "we don't have them here, we have them around the more important places like where you'd be eating". which.. makes some sense? I ended up not wearing one. I looked away from the person I was talking to after that interaction, and i see my mother figure talking to someone i didnt recognize. im not sure if she worked there, but im assuming she probably did or applied to work there anyways. I yelled her name towards her direction and she quickly realized that it was me. we ran over to each other to give a big hug. it was very sweet. im not sure what i was talking about to her during that time, but yeah.


there was this option on the guestbook service i use where you could put up information at the top near the last time someone commented about your band/the kind of music you made. I didn't actually make music in this dream, I just put it there for fun. I think I put "metal" or something lol. this brought some attention to my guestbook and a few more people started commenting. there was this one older guy who claimed to have written a book he wanted, and asked if i had been at some sort of concert he went to in the year 1960. he came over to the place i was at (some sort of family/friend meetup) and i told him that i have written/published nothing that he was looking for.


this dream i had was on 8-18-22, and i am only getting to write it down here. the year was 1999, and i was in this large ballroom with golden walls. it was beautiful and I think it had a crystal chandelier. I'm not sure if any music was playing. I'm not sure what was happening, but I do remember a part of this dream where I was back home where I live watching a recorded video from youtube of this same experience in the ballroom I just had. the video was kind of blurry and not all that clear. that's all I can remember.


it was my birthday or some sort of event hosted at my house i think? my dad and step mom decided to come over despite us not being in contact due to their transphobia towards me (this happened irl) and i was scared and tried to look for somewhere to hide in my room. I tried hiding under the mountain of blankets that I have but yknow that didn't stop my dad and step mom from coming into my room. I asked him why he was here and he gave me a not so nice look. I think he gave me something (don't remember exactly what). I don't remember everything that happened but I do know that my dad and step mom trashed my house so bad that 911 had to be called. I was concerned about my room (if they had stolen or broken anything) and my grandpa told me not to worry about it, that there was probably no reason they would take anything since nothing of interest is in there for them.


I was kept in this hospital-like facility with little to nothing to do. it was just this plain white room with nothing in there and it drove me so crazy that I had escaped previously. this escape would be my third escape. every time i would escape, the whole place would evacuate with an alarm and people running frantically around trying to get out. even though this place was awful for me and i did need to get out, i felt ashamed for my behavior and was worried i was going to lose friends over it.


there was a misunderstanding between me and an irl best friend plus her mom got involved as well. basically, her mom thought i was hurting/abusing her which was NOT true. she took my jokes and comments out of context and compiled them into papers to make me seem like the one in the wrong. my irl best friend was shocked and im not sure if she believed her mom or if she believed me while going through these papers. it somehow spread very quickly around the school we go to and it got so bad that I needed to move in with my mother figure. i remember getting hugs from friends and teachers that were on my side in the back of my geology class, since it was moving day for me. details besides this point are kind of fuzzy but i somewhat remember holding hands in the back of a black van with another friend of mine (not sure where we were going) and then i remember talking to my grandparents back at home concerning the move. they were hesitant. i dont actually remember moving in this dream but yeah i'll assume it happened.


somehow I died. I remember floating upwards into this dark purpley-blue mist (or fog?) with a bright light in the middle, and I think there was some sort of angelic music too. the music was a bit haunting but at the same time calming and beautiful. I don't know where I went, but I remember going to this place with the same kind of misty feel with the same colors. there were different kinds of people there. I went to a place where I could be comfortable with my transition into the afterlife, see how i impacted the lives of others, look at my entire life story and much more. I could even decide if i wanted to be reborn into a new body. I don't remember everything that happened in this dream so that's all I can really say.


i stumbled across a classmate's neocities website. it looked like it was nicely done and felt like a true early 2000s site. she had put different kinds of music at the front page, and had a white or light pink side bar with different links to click on for different pages to look at. i cant remember every little detail and the theme, but i know the colors of the theme were pink, blue, white, and maybe some black. the background of the site (or at least the front page) had a similar star theme to this page youre reading on right now. i cant remember the name of her site, i think it had to do something around life and death tho (and maybe nightmares?). the only thing i can piece together about the name is "alifesdying" for some reason? i eventually found her diary. i dont think her diary was easy to find. not sure if she didnt list it on her site or if it was hidden in another page but i think she just didnt list it. it was a light pink background with black text, and was formatted like how i format my diary on here. i felt strange reading this person's thoughts because i had no connection with her. since i had no real connection with her (in the dream and irl too) i felt like i was being intrusive or sneaky. she had thoughts i felt like i shouldnt be reading. it was funny.. she had a lot of similar thoughts like i do or at least similar diary entries about the different things in our lives, random thoughts, mental health and all that. and that is all i can remember from that dream.


i think we (me and the friend i like an extra amount lmfao) were sitting down somewhere inside, kind of looked like an art room in a school. not sure if i was drawing or not, and i couldnt tell what they were drawing either, but they told me "you have an extra glimmer in your eyes". and I said "so do you" or "you do too" or something like that. don't remember anything that happened after that.


earlier this morning during one of the times i woke up, i woke up from a dream where i was listening to a shoegaze album from an artist that isnt real. i only remember specific colors of the album cover: blue, white and pink. i only remember the ending of one song and i cant describe it but i knew it reminded me of my bloody valentine.


i ordered something KMFDM related (dont remember what) and with my order, i got some sort of special ticket to one of their concerts where I could go for free. unfortunately they weren't playing in my state, and my grandma wasn't willing to drive me to the nearest location (which was probably like 2-3 hours away).


I'm not sure where I was. I think I was on some sort of vacation and I'm not sure if I was supposed to be meeting up with raven or not but it ended up happening. I remember walking through this unfamiliar house. I don't know who i was with but there were some other people around me. I entered what I think was the kitchen (or a room that looked like it anyway) and i have no idea what raven was doing but i remember her being there and i think i gave her a little surprise because she wasnt expecting to see me. as most of my dreams go when raven is in them, we gave each other a long hug.

just woke up and remembered that I had a dream where i guess fnaf was real minus the dead children and there was a location very very close to me where the location was selling/giving away different parts of robots and other types of things from there because the location had been closed for a long time and there would be something new opening up in place of the pizzeria. i ended up with a couple of boxes with different robot parts, half of a toy bonnie robot (who still works) and I think I might've been getting all 4 of the main characters, just had to clean them and inspect them for mold that might've been dangerous or something like that.


im not sure if this dream is one big dream or if i had 2 dreams about the same person, but im going to treat it as one big dream: my grandma wanted me to connect with someone who i think was named bunny. she invited her over to our house and i didn't want her to be there cause i wasnt comfortable, but my grandma insisted that we have her over. i dont really remember what happened other than i found her outside with one of her hands chopped off and she started to decompose alive?? she was basically a standing half alive body that didnt look anything like how she did before. i remember her trying to walk up to me in this state but i just ran off. the second dream/second half: i was with a small group of 3 other people who I don't remember their names but the thing we all had in common was that we wanted bunny to get away from me. then there was this one guy who wasnt on our side and wasnt in our group. i dont know what was happening but i think me and my group were in this small cluttered office type setting next and then i remember myself with a rifle about to shoot bunny. i shot her from afar and somehow got her, my group praised me, and it took me a second to realize what i had just done. at first the shock hadnt set in and i felt nothing, and then i remember realizing she was a person. im not sure what happened in between this part but then i remember being outside texting raven and telling her that i loved her, that im sorry for what i had done and that she probably would never forgive me. she gave me a long message telling me how she somehow wasnt upset with me? yeah this dream was weird LOL


zee and i had a sleepover at my house and for some reason they could turn into a cat. that's it. that's the dream. they looked a lot like one of my own cats. yeah idk what else to say

i also had a few other weird dreams that i cant explain, but here's another i remember better than the others: i was at an old house one of my cousins used to live in and a couple of my family members were gathered here because i had a new born baby. i named her elise. i felt like i wasnt able to take care of her and i wasnt sure if i wanted to be a parent, and i mentioned how i would feel guilty if i put her into adoption.


something had been set up between my family and raven's family for us to meet up. we were going to do it during the day, but it got kind of busy on her end of things. i was waiting on this couch in a house my brain made up and it was dark outside. raven passed by me and looked out the door (it was a sliding glass door) for some reason, and i look up and i just go "WHAT" out of shock. she turns around and just tackles me into a big hug. im not sure if she was saying anything during this moment, but i do know that i was saying "oh my god you're real" over and over. im not sure what happens in between these moments but then i remember standing up next to her as she's on the couch holding one of her hands and she's doing something silly. we're just looking at each other and during that i felt at home. i thought to myself "damn. yeah, that's my mom".


i was in the back seat of raven's car. for visualization purposes, it was raining outside. im not sure where we were going. i said "mom?" to her, and im not sure what she replied with back but something like "yeah?". i then started to talk about something funny. i could barely get out what i wanted because i was laughing so hard. i dont know what i was trying to talk about.


i was in the car with 2 other people (dont remember who). i think i was in the front seat? im not sure. i was going to see raven for the first time and i was nervous. i could see her on the porch of this huge house my brain made up with her boyfriend. we pulled in closer into the driveway. i got out of the car and i think raven was walking down the stairs when i started running towards her with my arms saying "raaveennnn!!". out of shock as we were hugging, i went "WHAT" because we were finally together and i had no other way to express how i was feeling. we both started to laugh.


i think it was in the evening where me and my grandpa started to have a fight. im not sure what we were fighting about but it wasnt good. i then say something along the lines of "if you dont want me here, i'll just move in with raven" or "if you're kicking me out, i'll just be with raven" or something along those lines. he seemed unaffected by that and said that he didnt care if i lived with her. I told him that he had to pay for my train (or plane?) tickets. I don't know what happened after that, I think later on I called raven about it and talked about what had happened. not sure about the details after that


i was in this strange place with ember. we missed our bus ride back home from school and im not sure how we ended up in this place. i forgot the company's name but it was basically this maze of strange puzzles. the vibe was very surreal/weirdcore like, almost kind of reminiscent of the backrooms, but not as empty. i guess they would take in kids and teenagers mostly for some reason. at the end, we ended up in this cafeteria that kinda felt like it belonged in a school. it was full of people that we knew from our school, and the room was full of chatter. all i can remember after this is losing my mind because all i wanted to do was get out and go home. i tried to escape multiple times by launching myself into the large glass windows surrounding the cafeteria. i'd try to fly as far out as i could before people would find me again. this would happen multiple times before i started killing the people that were a part of whatever company this was. i was so desperate that at this point all i wanted was to go home, even if it meant killing people over it. then i knew i was in big trouble for the things ive done.


i was in this large grassy field, all alone, and these two pretty blue hummingbirds came up to me and followed me home. i decided to keep them. they were both dark blue, but they had lighter blue/white designs that reminded me of a fancy porcelain flower design. i took them home and started to take care of them.


my site got taken down because it violated some kind of rule on neocities for being "too dark", and also because i apparently made a satire shrek hate page, which people took seriously and didn't realize that it was satire. i was just about to email the neocities support team telling them that i would clear up my site of the darker things as well as my shrek hate page, then i realized my site had been put back online.


i had this childhood friend, i dont remember their name. they had brown skin, brown eyes, and hair that reached to about their shoulders, maybe a little less. i remember them sitting in front of me and thinking of how beautiful they were. we were outside in this grassy field. it was a bit cloudy, and i dont remember seeing much of a blue sky. then i remember them running away playfully and i was chasing after them. i think i could hear them distantly laughing a little bit. the field quickly turned into a short and sudden hill, and now we were running in a field of lavender and violet flowers. there were different shades of purples, but they didnt blend in together. the ground had a repeating pattern of a dark purple, a light purple, and white (?), all existing in their different sections. it was very peaceful. at the end of the lavender field, there was a swamp with a dead tree in it. i remember my friend getting in to the water. i felt worried, like i knew they might drown, as if it's happened before. i dont know what happened after that.


i was in a parking lot in a car with my grandma, not sure where we were, some kind of store plaza looking place. i saw raven walking with a small group of maybe 2-4 other people. not sure who they were, i think it might've been a mix of her friends or family. anyway, i open the car door and i yell out to her to get her attention (not sure if i just said her name or if i said "hey!"), and we both run to each other. we hug, and im not sure if we had any conversation, but i do remember raven kissing me on different parts of my face gently before telling me something. again, i dont know what she said exactly, but something about having to go but that she'll see me later.


i was admitted into a mental hospital. i dont really remember a lot from this dream, except i was in a very small room with not much to do. there was my bed, and then a second one a little further apart next to mine. i had my belongings and stuff so i was okay. i think i was texting raven on my bed that i was in the hospital. i remember eating something that was kind of like soup in a small room and i started shaking out of anxiety because i realized that i wasnt at the front or somebody else was trying to get to the front but i didnt know who it was (emptygod system reveal? it's more likely than you think). i was only staying there overnight for a few days. that's about it.


i was in my old school, in the middle school wing mostly, walking around the entire section over and over and looking into classrooms because i knew raven was here. i was looking for her. i believe i came across her once or twice in the beginning of my dream but I wasn't sure if it was her or not, but the person did look a lot like her and i was very convinced that it was her (it was). but after those first few interactions near the beginning of the dream, i couldn't find her.


i was in a city like setting. there was a line of people outside looking to get into this one therapy building, and raven was a part of the line. one thing that stood out to me about this version of raven that my mind made up though was the fact that she looked physically hurt. she looked like she got into a fight and she was bleeding from multiple areas on her face and chest. i noticed this in the dream but i didn't say anything to her. i think i just went up to her? im not sure what i said as i was going up to her, something like "raven!" or "heeeyyyy!" or something like that. she seemed very happy to see me and as most dreams that we're together, we give each other a long hug. i think we're talking about something but i dont remember what it was exactly. i know she kisses me on the cheek a few times in different parts of our embrace.


i had multiple dreams or maybe this was one big dream? although i dont really feel like explaining the first two parts that i remember bc they didnt exactly impact me that much, i do want to talk about the last part that i remember. i saw this large painting with a really thick bright golden frame. it was very fancy, had a lot of details on it, and it looked a bit old. the picture itself was of a green snake in the air biting a blue butterfly. i dont remember a specific background to this painting though. i heard a voice that wasnt my own and didnt sound like anyone i knew. the voice said "you have one option. choose. choose. choose." and then i woke up feeling strange emotionally. like, i just felt off and kind of worried.


this was the most insane lucid (?) dream. it felt the most realistic. i cant even begin to explain it bc of how complex it was with it's layers and stuff. anyways:

in this dream, i kept waking up back in my bed. each time i would get up, something would be a little bit different, but usually not super different. i'd get up, go upstairs, etc. but it started to get weird when in one part of the dream where i stepped into my grandpas room. he was recording some kind of video. i walked into his room and tried to see if he could see me or if his camera on his computer/tablet (not sure what it was) could pick me up because i was apparently experiencing reality through my astral body i think. he then told me something about me not hallucinating, and then i showed him how the camera just barely picks me up as i waved my hand in front of the thing he was recording with. i told him something about that being weird. then in one of the dreams, i remember waking up and it being hard for me to walk. it felt like i was walking through a thick substance as i tried to make it to my door. then i woke up still in a dream to sleep paralysis. i was afraid because irl sleep paralysis is something that does freak me out, but then i remembered that i could enter the astral realm through sleep paralysis. so i started saying affirmations in my head related to disconnecting from my physical body and entering the astral realm. i just remember spinning colors after that one. and then there was another dream where i woke up, went out my door, but this time i went outside. i then learned i was slightly more weightless, but i dont think i could fully fly. so i started tumbling and running around outside in my driveway. ofc, in most dreams where i have some awareness, i gave myself wings and started having fun with that, but then i heard this male voice coming from nowhere that said something like "of course, the lucid dreamer has fun until the lucid dreamer realizes that their dream is indeed reality" and then i remember quickly running a few feet up in the air back to my apartment so that my grandparents didnt think i was lost.


i had a dream i was shapeshifting into a black kite, or some kind of large bird of prey that was different shades of brown. it was uncomfortably comfortable. something about it felt right and i can still feel and see the feathers slowly coming out of my arms looking back on it. i dont remember ever fully shifting, but i remember the way it felt. i wasnt afraid, in fact it felt natural, as if i had been doing it for all of my life.


there was more to this dream before what i am going to explain but i dont really remember all of it. what i do remember is this: one of my alters had her own body and she could talk to spirits and see them as well. i died to some kind of work injury (at least that's what i told her). I came to her house and I wanted to give zee a message, saying something like "I want zee to know that I've been looking over them as well as everyone else that I love, and that I love and miss them and everyone else". then she pulled out this rectangular mirror and flipped on a switch that was on the side of it, it was some kind of portal. i asked her how much energy it would take for me to get back into my own body (or any body i guess) and she said it would take ten thousand times the energy that i already have in my body. i put my hand through the mirror and i floated into it completely. some time passes, not sure how much, probably a few hours but it only felt like a few moments of darkness. before i opened my eyes, i saw some kind of round diamond shaped crystal. it was a reddish pink color. im not sure what it came in contact with but it did something since i heard it make a clicking sound, and then i opened my eyes. i started crying and writhing on the floor of one of her rooms (not sure where i was exactly) and freaking out. i felt very uncomfortable physically and mentally. there were multiple other people with me but i dont remember who. someone asked what was wrong and then one of zee's old friends walks in. someone told their old friend that i had passed away and she started crying a little bit and said something like "i didnt know, i wish someone told me". im not sure what happened between that moment and the next but i remember getting up and going into a bathroom that was located in the room i was in and looked up at my face. i had switched bodies/minds/souls with this specific alter and we kind of merged into one person. i asked myself "who am i?" in a loud voice, still looking up at myself, and then i woke up.

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